My Face Is Up Here.

My Face Is Up Here.

No pain, no HBO special.

“Every day I wake up and think: time to be funny! Right after I cry for ten minutes (angst purge) and make fun of the dog for five (oh c’mon, he doesn’t know, he’s a dog). See, my life has challenges that, while making me want to eat glass, make other people chuckle with shameful satisfaction.

“I do have an ample bosom. There are guys that if they had to pick me out of a line-up, wouldn’t be able to do it if they first didn’t cover my face. Which is how, one day, I’m gonna get all their wallets. So that’s pretty much how it all started. About the time my boobs came in, so did my sense of humor. Turns out, it was a laughing matter.”

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